Cheap Lazy Ass Beef Jerky

Recipe

1. Buy a roast, the cheaper the better….unless you still have money. Dodge the Karens and the Fascist mask police…if you can. Pay cash to scare the cashier. Wear running shoes.
2. Slice the washed or unwashed roast into thin or thick strips or slices with a sharp or dull knife. The sharp, serrated knife will be quicker.
3. Toss the pieces into a stained stainless bowl, remembering to keep pushing the cat and dog away from the bowl.
4. Toss or sprinkle in equal or unequal quantities of : Montreal steak spice, chili powder, garlic powder, white pepper and some SHIN RAMYUN soup base. Careful on the SHIN RAMYUN. It is highly toxic. Keep it away from fabric or mucus membranes.
5. Mix the meat and powder up real good….or not.
6. Let the mixture marinate at room temperature for six hours…or seven. Put it in the oven or a cupboard to keep the cat or dog out of it…unless you have trained them to open doors.
7. Haphazardly, place the pieces on the racks of your food dehydrator. Alternatively you can clip the pieces to your clothes line. The drying time is longer. The crows and magpies will be very happy. They are incapable of gratitude. Do not use your clothes dryer.
8. Stop the drying process three nano seconds before the beef gets crispy….unless you like crispy.
9. ENJOY! It won’t last.