BLOWOUT MASHUP- A MOTORCYCLE STORY

Crackle, crackle, hum, ahem.

“Your attention please. This is your ride numbed consciousness speaking. You are currently travelling at 120 kilometres per hour and rapidly approaching the rear end of a tractor trailer rig that is travelling at 110 kilometres per hour!!”. The rider is startled, more alert as he approaches the rig and prepares to pass to get out of the turbulence when his action is interrupted by canon fire. There is a blast of smoke and shrapnel. The sidewall of the outside left rear tire of the trailer has completely blown out and is travelling at 30.55556 meters per second to the left of his path. The rider throttles back with some relief that the sidewall is moving away from him but by some freak of aerodynamics, centrifugal force, and explosion science, suddenly changes trajectory with a spinning, jerking bounce, back towards the rider. The rider’s brain shrieks, “What Now!?” The rider’s consciousness goes mute, has nothing to add. The rider flinches with eyes open, braces for impact followed by two thumps, and a bit of wobbling while simultaneously throttling back and gearing down and pulling over and stopping and climbing down to check for damage and whether or not he has soiled himself.

Everything checks out.

Win.

Crackle. Crackle. Ahem.

“Your attention please. This is your mildly agitated consciousness speaking. We seem to have passed through some unexpected turbulence. Please keep your seat belts fastened. Cabin service will resume shortly.

Scratch that.

A few kilometres later, the traveller enters a dark cloud that turns out to be made up of millions of dragonflies that ping, thwack, clatter, and explode all over his windscreen, helmet, and visor. Visibility is instantly reduced. The rider thinks of footage he’s seen of The Battle of Midway or Pearl Harbour and the frantic attacks of Kamikaze against the United States Navy. This is a re-enactment of those great engagements, only this time against the battleship Vstrom. The suicide dragonflies dodge and dip to seemingly avoid impact but then suddenly change course to vaporize against their target. There are no evasive measures or anti aircraft fire available to Vstrom. The attackers plaster and mash into a multicoloured paste that smells vaguely of the sea when the rain hits it.

Please explain.