Oh Crap, I Missed The Rapture! Or Did I?

Howard’s Law dictates that everything is plausible, that everything was and will remain plausible. Fact and fiction and truth and lies are manipulated and broadcast and taught for both good and evil effect. A FACT is, I don’t think I qualified for inclusion in this existential event, past, present or future. Another FACT is that if it did happen last month, I missed it. I may have slept or ridden through it on two wheels instead of four. Even if I wasn’t chosen to join the chosen ones I might have at least seen those that were rising up into the heavens to meet their maker – unless it happened at night – while I was asleep. I might have seen news reports of the billions of people that went missing that day or reports of major disruptions of air traffic, UFO sightings, that sorta thing. I probably missed those reports.

Surely the housing crisis has been alleviated. So many vacancies now.

Anyhoo.

Seems I am doomed to remain earthbound and suffer the fate of billions of souls that are open to spiritual enrichment and commitment but haven’t quite felt the Holy Ghost or accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I actually want to know and feel this state of being because it would make what is surely to come somewhat easier to take. But what if The Rapture happens before my awakening and unwavering acceptance happens?

IT IS WRITTEN:

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth”. This seems to illustrate God’s rejection of spiritual complacency and tepidness. Jesus also declared, “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters” (Matthew 12), reinforcing the idea that neutrality is not an option in matters of faith.

A South African preacher named Pastor Joshua Mhlakela predicted that The Rapture would take place on September 23-24, 2025 based on a ‘vision’ he had. The Rapture didn’t happen in this time frame so a re-interpretation and recalculation was required. Apparently there was a miscalculation because of a discrepancy between the Gregorian and Julian calendars not foreseen in the ‘vision’. Surely the good pastor would have ‘seen’ this. As of today, October 5, the revised date for this event is October 6-8, 2025. Just in case I best make sure my affairs are in order. I’ll clean the house, turn down the hot water heater and power down all of my electrical devices and their chargers. Whether I’m leaving or not, the cost of utilities warrants an intervention. And, in the event I accidentally get pulled up and don’t get thrown back, my daughters won’t get stuck with a whopping utility extortion grab bill.

But what to do with the fishies, with Huey, Lewie and Dewie? Who will feed them and clean their tank? The beloved Ninja cat has recently gone to his maker. May he rest and play and eat and prowl in peace. My he have someone to cuddle with, to head butt.

You may be aware that the end is nigh as it has been for a long time. The apocalypse is now, and sorta not in a Francis Ford Coppola way, so ‘The Rapture’ couldn’t be happening, or not happening at a better time. Dante’s ‘Divine Comedy’ had some interesting ideas on heaven, hell and purgatory but he encouraged the reader to get right with God.

The Catholic Catechism states, “On Judgment Day at the end of the world, Christ will come in glory to achieve the definitive triumph of good over evil which, like the wheat and the tares, have grown up together in the course of history. When he comes at the end of time to judge the living and the dead, the glorious Christ will reveal the secret disposition of hearts and will render to each man according to his works, and according to his acceptance or refusal of grace.” (CCC 681 – 682). 

The Rapture is an eschatological idea and hope held by some Christians, most notably within American evangelicalism. It describes an end of days event where all living true believers will rise from their earthly realm and join true believers that have already met their maker. Together, they will rise “in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air” – Thessalonians. destined for the future. The term “rapture” is not found in the New Testament but is believed to be derived from the Latin Vulgate translation of 1 Thessalonians 4, where the Greek word harpazō (meaning “to snatch away”) is is translated as rapiemur, from the Latin rapio.

While I’m waiting and watching moto travel vlogs or doing other things…..why not do some 80’s soft disco or progressive hardcore? Since I won’t be travelling to Manila to tour the slums and misery and open sewers of Happyland or Smokey Mountain and eat Pag Pag or revisiting London or Paris or Berlin to experience the graffiti and cultural, societal and economic decay of Europe, I may as well try to get with God here at home and make my peace here on earth in any way I can. Do I become a passive, detached observer like so many others? Is this peace before chaos or The Rapture?

I wonder where Charlie Kirk is and what he’s doing right now. Is Valhalla heaven? Will he have a second coming? Will the ‘Lifting of the Veil’, ‘The Apocalypse’ reveal the truth and the facts of all time that might wake any remaining humans and lead them to live in peace and prosperity for as long as the earth remains our home.

“Rapture”

Toe to toe
Dancing very close
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Wall to wall
People hypnotized
And they’re stepping lightly
Hang each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacroiliac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it’s finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture

Fab Five Freddy told me everybody’s fly
DJ’s spinning I said my, my
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sais pas, Flashe no deux
And you don’t stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he’s got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you’re in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin’ cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subaru
And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
Then, when there’s no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don’t move too slow, ’cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he’s eatin’ bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He’s gonna eat ’em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don’t strain your brain, paint a train
You’ll be singin’ in the rain
I said don’t stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
‘Cause the man from Mars won’t eat up bars where the TV’s on
And now he’s gone back up to space
Where he won’t have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don’t stop
Just blast off, sure shot
‘Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin’ cars and eatin’ bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!

Pass away the hours, hear the footsteps of the past
Walking up the stairs of time, knowing that I’m trapped
Cold winds of indifference persuade a movement south
Thinking that it’s better there
The warmer climes that we seek out
Poor bird flies up in the air, never getting anywhere
And how much misery can one soul take?
Trying to fly away might have been your first mistake
Poor bird flies up in the air
Never getting anywhere
Picking petals off a flower
Loves me, loves me not
Is love another way to count the things you haven’t got?
We wish the best to all our friends, young and old alike
When the dust has settled in the sky
Well, you can have anything you like
Poor bird flies up in the air, never getting anywhere
And how much misery can one soul take?
Trying to fly away might have been your first mistake
Poor bird flies up in the air
Never getting anywhere
Poor bird flies up in the air, never getting anywhere
And how much misery can one soul take?
Trying to fly away might have been your first mistake
Poor bird flies up in the air
Never getting anywhere
Poor bird flies up in the air
Poor bird flies up in the air