Fuck Your Friends? What They Do?

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog” -Mark Twain

“We were all basically alone, and despite what all his studies had shown what was mistaken for closeness was just a case of mitosis.”

― Andrew Bird

Mitosis is a cellular process that replicates chromosomes and produces two identical nuclei in preparation for cell division.

Cells grow, reproduce and divide and die. Like friends.

I’ll have to get a dog. Don’t tell the cat. Pets are reliable if you treat them right. They are a man’s best friends. It boggles the mind when you hear of people treating their pets badly. Do people get pets to dominate them or treat them as the children they will never have, because they are gender confused or overly black pilled? Do they take on reptilian pets to anthropomorphise them? Kootchy koo! Baby want a mousy mouse? Totalitarian Cultural Marxism and U.S. hegemony drove Venezuelans to eat their pets…and zoo animals. In the absence of these beasts, would they eat their friends?

Friends come and go. Some friendships are lasting and endure time and distance. Some friends are for convenience or with benefits. Some friends are closer than families. We find friends in the heat and love of protest in a common cause. We have hope together. We drink coffee and then we pass in the night. We lose so many to drug addiction and acoholism, Satan, vaccine status and – place politician name here -________________ Derangement Syndrome. Mass Formation Psychosis has taken so many people, friends and enemies and those indifferent and ignorant. They get sick and die in ignorance. Friendships bound by tastes in music are bronze. Friendships maintained through a love of motorcycles are silver. The friendships that allow the meeting of minds and occasional disagreements open to discussion are gold. To sit in silence with a friend and then suddenly laugh at the same time, at nothing really, is priceless.

I really don’t know how to take this screed. Is it promoting the virtues of stoicism, incel mania, misogyny, reluctant homosexuality or lesbian culture? Does it espouse antisocialim or secular humanism? It was posted by a Facebook user called Douglas Faulk who lives in New Orleans. I have been unable find any information on this Douglas Faulk, beyond having 21,000 followers on Facebook and a picture of him riding a camel or anyone else that might have this view on friendship. There are orthopedic surgeons, real estate agents or obituaries for a Douglas Faulk.

“Stop looking for friends. the earth is overpopulated with soulless beings. They are dangerous. their lifestyle will compromise you. Stop trying to befriend people who don’t have the potential to be loyal. It won’t work. We get burnt by them everytime. You came to this planet alone. Everything you need to be successful and happy is already inside of you. Humans will turn on you. Your helping spitits will also. Gods will even betray you. You have one true friend. The true you who isn’t on this planet. Yes, you aren’t really on earth. This is a dream. An illusion. what’s on earth is your representative. Your shadow. That’s why the beings here are so cruel and lawless. Some understand what’s going on here more than others. They break the rules. They use others. They’ll stop at nothing to get ahead. Even if that means playing the friends game. Many people have become victims of it. Women befriend other women who they’re in love with. They’ll hang around for years without disclosing it. Some women are users by nature. They take from other women constantly. they’re a form of vampire. Men also have fake friends. Stories of betrayal stretch for centuries. Keep your friends/associates at a distance. When you leave earth, you may never see them again. Everyone can’t go where you’re going. They’re trapped here. Friendship is a powerful mechanism. The gods made it this way. We people will suffer dearly from it. The ancient text says to trust no man. We do the opposite. It’s dangerous. The only way to be a true friend is not to trust a person. Don’t allow them to burn you. Take trust out of your relationships. Actions are what matters. The Gods don’t trust. If you’re lucky enough to find a person to ride your cycle out with until the end, what have you gained? Nothing at all. It was an illusion. A dream.”

“There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be,” Irish Anonymous – over drinks…at a pub…as long as you’re buying.

[Verse 1]
He’s keeping busy, yeah, he’s bleeding stones
With his machinations and his palindromes
It was anything but hear the voice
Anything but hear the voice
It was anything but hear the voice
That says that we’re all basically alone

[Verse 2]
Poor Professor Pynchon had only good intentions
When he put his Bunsen burners all away
And turning to a playground in a Petri dish
Where single cells that would swing their fists
At anything that looks like easy prey
In this nature show that rages every day
It was then he heard his intuition say

[Chorus]
“We were all basically alone”
And despite what all his studies had shown
What was mistaken for closeness
Was just a case for mitosis
And why do some show no mercy
While others are painfully shy?
And tell me, doctor, can you quantify?
‘Cause he just wants to know the reason
The reason why

[Verse 3]
Why do they congregate in groups of four?
Scatter like a billion spores
And let the wind just carry them away
How can kids be so mean?
Our famous doctor tried to glean
As he went home at the end of the day
In this nature show that rages every day
It was then he heard his intuition say

[Chorus]
“We were all basically alone”
Despite what all his studies had shown
That what’s mistaken for closeness
Is just a case of mitosis
Sure fatal doses of malcontent through osmosis
And why do some show no mercy
While others are painfully shy?
Well, tell me doctor, can you quantify
The reason why?

[Chorus]
(What they do?)
(They smilin’ in your face)
All the time, they want to take your place
The back stabbers (Back stabbers)
(They smilin’ in your face)
All the time, they want to take your place
The back stabbers (Back stabbers)

[Verse 1]
All you fellas who have someone and you really care, yeah, yeah
Then it’s all of you fellas who better beware, yeah, yeah
Somebody’s out to get your lady
A few of your buddies, they sure look shady
The blades are long, clutched tight in their fist
Aimin’ straight at your back and I don’t think they’ll miss

[Chorus]
(What they do?)
(They smilin’ in your face)
All the time, they want to take your place
The back stabbers (Back stabbers)

[Verse 2]
I keep gettin’ all these visits from my friends
Yeah, what they doin’ to me?
They come to my house again and again and again and again, yeah
So are they there to see my woman?
I don’t even be home, but they just keep on comin’
What can I do to get on the right track?
I wish they’d take some of these knives out my back

[Chorus]
(What they do?)
(They smilin’ in your face)
All the time, they want to take your place
The back stabbers (Back stabbers)

[Bridge]
Ha-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Low-down, dirty

[Outro]
(What they do?)
(They smilin’ in your face)
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes tell lies (Back stabbers)
(They smilin’ in your face)
I don’t need low-down, dirty bastards (Back stabbers)
(They smilin’ in your face)
Da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da (Back stabbers)
Might be your neighbor (They smilin’ in your face)
Your next door neighbor, yeah (Back stabbers)