Riding…Down Under
Motorcycle Vapors
The epic Australian adventure happened a lifetime ago it seems. I’ve delayed finishing this piece for reasons I’m only now beginning to come to terms with. After watching the leaked news out of Australia during the brutality of the worldwide COVID grift pandemic of international concern I wondered if I would ever get to see that down under part of the world. I was always worried about my eldest daughter’s residency there. Canada was bad enough during that time but I was determined to see more of the world while my body and bits of sanity throughout uncertain geopolitics and totally imaginary geoengineering made it possible.
Another reason for the delay in publishing this piece is that the procrastination and avoidance was really dragging at me to the point of action. I was in a really bad space physically and emotionally before, during and after the trip but the distraction of it all and my ability to fake it til I made it saw me through. I was still recovering from the usual side effects of, the most recent at the time, radiation ‘therapy’ and the doubts of future survival. I was worn out but the idea of meeting up with my daughters who would be down there down under at the same time, and meeting the family of the daughter who has chosen a good young man from down there drove me forward. Australia was a bucket list destination for me and actually riding to see some of it twisted the throttle. I had to change flights last minute due to a delay in my visa application and Air Canada was all to keen to gouge me for my failings. I hope never to do another 21 hour flight again. I now know that renting a motorcycle in Australia is complicated and expensive. The financial cost was staggering but hey, I was only going to live once even after the several expiry dates and MAiD service offered by conventional medicine and oncologists. My philosophy of “If I can, I should” prevailed.
This isn’t a story about a machine. It isn’t about the Kawasaki KLR 650 (also known as ‘The Donkey’) I rented for one week of three while I was down there. It for sure was not a Suzuki DL-650 V-Strom which is my brilliant machine. The main reason why I choose one over the other is that the V-Strom is mine and the Royal Enfield Himalayan was not deemed robust enough for Oz roads…or at least so I was told. Other riders have proven otherwise. I guess it comes down to availability. I know and trust my Strom as a mechanical extension of my body which is known to fail now and then. The V-Strom hasn’t left me stranded except twice when I ran out of gas. My bad. Not the bikes.
Nov. 17, 2023 – Nov. 24, 2023
Less one day loss of use for which there was no reasonable remedy.
Kilometers Travelled - A measly 1198 or so.
(K)lattering (K)lumsy (K)lunking (L)acking (R)usty (R)ickety 650
While ideally a fine single cylinder machine with a good history and reviews, the unit I ended up with was a distinct variation from the picture featured in Riderly’s on-line catalogue. It was rather shop and road tired.
I ride on the wrong side of the road, through infinite roundabouts, Pacific Highway and goat paths and sheep runs included, from Bikescape in Parramatta, Sydney to Belmont, Carlingford, Pennant Hills, Thornleigh, Wahroonga, Berowra, Mooney Mooney, Mount White, Calga, Kariong, Gosford, Erina, Wamberal Beach, Batteau Bay, Shelly Beach, Toowoon Beach, Long Jetty, The Entrance and on to Boomerang Beach. To Taree, Wyee, Newcastle, Gosford, Myuna Bay, Eraring, Doyalson, Wyong, Wyoming and Toronto.
Toronto?
And then inland central to Wingham, Killawarra, Burrell Creek, Kundibahk, Krambach, Belbora, Gangat, Tugrabakh on through to Gloucester taking The Bucketts Way. Somewhere, somehow, Forbesdale, Stratford, Craven, Stroud, Allworth and Booral were also entered and exited.
Nice town Gloucester.
Gloster?
I ride.
Past the infinite number of prosperous tyre shops and smash repair centres. Lack of road maintenance and street cleaning might explain some of this.
Past fast and slow food joints and coffee and petrol stops amid the odd beauty of alien land and forest and ocean and beach scapes.
Through the usual, occasional bouts of agoraphobia and vulnerability of fear of urban traffic that come with being in a strange land during warnings of severe weather and occasional torrential downpours on two wheels with thin tyres on the wrong side of the road. The advantages of allowing the five and six senses to absorb the sights and sounds of New South Wales on two wheels instead of four are only limited by repeated flight or fight responses to road hazards and other stimuli that presented. It’s entirely possible that I created my own hazards by lack of attention, experience and fear and awe of the unknown but it’s never stopped me before. It was a package deal type thing. The rewards of seeing down under beauty, rugged and splendid will stay in my memory for as long as it holds out. The are pictures and videos somewhere. I still get emotional when I think on the brashness and sadness I saw and felt in the people, places and things I experienced when I was down there. I regret nothing. You never know until you go.
On Sat, 18 Nov 2023 21:01:08 GMT Al Neitsch wrote:
Hello There,
I am currently stranded in Taree on day two of my rental after getting a puncture yesterday. Bikescape arranged a tow truck from Rainbow Flat, NSW to my hotel in Taree, NSW for which I am grateful. There were no repair shops open yesterday or today (sat/sun) but there is a motorcycle shop in Taree that will be open tomorrow. Do I presume to have to spend another night in Taree? My hotel checkout is at 10am this morning and I’ll be out on the street with my luggage and a motorcycle I can’t use if I don’t rebook. Is this typical of motorcycle rentals in Australia? Are there no emergency roadside services available as would be with motorcar rentals? I am very concerned at losing use of the bike for 1.5 days for lack of emergency service. I also have some concerns about the bike’s fitness for rental. I hope you can understand that I am under some stress over this.
My ph.# is 0493696779
Hi Al,
Thanks for your message and sorry to hear you’ve been unlucky with a puncture so quickly after starting your trip. Unfortunately punctures are something that typically falls on the rider to resolve as its not something materially wrong with the vehicle, but rather down to usage.
Punctures in Australia can typically can be resolved at a gas station, mechanics, etc, but thats correct unfortunately on Sundays there are fewer options. We have been trying to contact the local rental company on the numbers we have available but we are yet to be able to receive a response. We have of course made clear the importance of the situation and hope to be able to hear back from them soon.
There are some companies, similarly to what you might be used to in the US/CA which provide nationwide assistance 24/7, here is their contact number +61 131111 or alternatively +61 (08) 8925 5901 so that you have them for later on your travels.
We will keep you updated, should we hear back from the rental provider.
Regards,
—Carlos from Riderly
They were friendly enough I guess. The situation added to the experience of staying two nights in Taree and meeting the somewhat soused biker owner of the somewhat unkempt Taree Motor Inn. Taree is a nice bustling town on the Manning River. They have horse races nearby. At least I wasn’t stuck in Pampoolah or Kundle Kundle where tyre service is far far away in the never never. At least I met the apparent one and only Aboriginal in New South Wales on my layover. She delivered pizza. She was funny and nice.
There are two distinct scenes that took place while I was down there on two wheels instead of four both of which seem to be indicative of a dominant character of folks down under.
SCENE ONE –
Before the puncture incident I was riding through The Entrance looking for a nice spot for a picnic lunch. It was a glorious sunny and warm day meant for riding and I stopped near Long Jetty Park just before The Entrance Bridge. As I was setting up for lunch in the shade of a eucalyptus tree I watched some fisher folk trying their luck at the jetty. Cyclists and walking families passed by. An elderly, white haired and bejeweled lady approached on a mobility scooter and stopped. We passed some hellos and small talk of the ‘where you from, where are you heading’ variety. Her name was May. I mentioned that I might camp at Two Shore Holiday Village and she advised against it saying that there were mostly hippies and druggies there. I thanked her for her advice. She started on her way and stopped and said, “Oh love, would you mind helping me out?” I walked over. “Could you look down between my legs, no not there between my legs but on the deck, I dropped my vape and can’t reach it.” Of course I didn’t look where I was instructed not to. She fired up as she scooted off leaving a thick and wafting pall of smoke in her wake. May was one of many cheerful and helpful locals I met while down there. – down under.
SCENE TWO –
Newcastle, NSW is known for several social problems, including a housing crisis, access to healthcare, mental health issues, rising cost of living, and anti-social behavior but this is offset or a result of it’s apparent thriving economy. It could be anywhere really. I was just leaving Newcastle after a rather sleepless and noisy and fragrant night at another Ibis Hotel that catered to transient types and budget minded tourists like me. I was a bit groggy and disoriented and upon leaving the parking lot turned left into the far lane directly into oncoming traffic. This was of course alarming for me and those coming at me and I promptly jumped the median to make the appropriate correction. While I was collecting myself on the median a helpful brute in a UTE felt compelled and justified in stopping, holding up traffic and yelling out of his open window, “Mate, you are the worst fackin motorcycle rider I’ve ever seen!!” Of course my rattled self could only respond with a wave and a thanks. G’day to you too fella!
I rode on.
It’s doubtful that I’ll be able to match the Turkish delightful travels of Gulsah Merve Yuksel or the swaggering macho of Adam Reinmann as they motovlog their way across parts of the massive Australian continent that I am not likely to see. There will be no outback adventure with Tina And Jason. Maybe one day I’ll get my shit and energy together and stitch together some stories and videos into a YouTube video or two. Perhaps in the next life after this one. Perhaps in my living color and sound and sensation dream time.
Vroom vroom.
“While on this ride called ‘life’, you have to take the good with the bad, smile when you’re sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change. Things go wrong. Just remember, the ride goes on”. – Bikerlid.com
A bit trite and sappy but there it is.