Written by awneitsch on January 1, 2022
Howard’s Lame Duck Soup
The Chronicles- Start with the leftover, one winged, utility roast Christmas duck. If the anemic, starved, post apocalypse death camp duck does not yield enough leftover meat for your soup, you can add some GMO chicken or turkey. Boil the carcass and added meats and let simmer for an hour or so. Pick the carcass clean of all verifiable meat – the gristle and cartlidge too if you like that sort of thing. Save the meat for later. Strain the water that the duck and other meat came out of ,boiling and simmering, into another pot for your broth.
- Add a box or two of salty or un-salty broth of chicken, beef, or aardvark to the broth. Aardvark?
- Add in chopped onion, celery, carrots, parsley, cilantro, smashed garlic, chopped tomatoes – barley too if you like that sort of thing.
- Season with salt, black or green peppercorns or the pungently good but expensive white peppercorns that come out of a bird’s ass. Add also, to taste, sprinle or pour savoury, fresh basil or flakes, oregano, and a couple of dried up half pouches of MSG laden Shin Ramyun soup base that you found at the back of the cupboard. Also add any of those leftover mini packets of pepper and salt that accumulated in your car console…you know from the fast food drive thrus you don’t admit to patronizing.
- You had coupons, remember?
- Simmer and stir. Simmer and stir.
- Go do something else.
- While you are simmering and stirring, boil a pot of pasta. Shell pasta is more interesting than elbow macaroni. Drain and rinse the under cooked pasta to get the starchy slime off.
- Play with the cat.
- Add in one or two jars of your favorite spaghetti sauce that you bought on sale to top up your prepper hoard.
- Sample.
- Add some sriracha sauce even if it isn’t required.
- Listen to Throwing Muses’ latest album, Sun Racket. Fuck, is it good. I am still in love with Kristin Hersch. I will be until I die.
- Serves as many as was made or freeze some.
- Serve with day old baguette and lots of butter.
- Or crackers.
- Don’t tell your naturopath or phrenologist or Vegan Energy Healer.
Bon appetit!
Quack Quack!
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