SHOVEL
Mutterings And Murmurs . Social StudiesIMAGINE THAT MAN HAD EVOLVED BEAUTIFULLY, RIGHT UP TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF IT’S HANDS. WHAT IF GOD RESTED AFTER HE HAD CREATED THE WORLD, AND MAN, RIGHT UP TO THE WRISTS. WHAT IF, SAY, MAN ENDED UP WITH FINS OR WINGS OR OCTOPUS LIKE TENTACLES? WOULD MAN HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PROGRESS THROUGH THE DARK, ENLIGHTENED, INDUSTRIAL, OR ELECTRONIC AGES WITHOUT HANDS? WOULD GREAT BATTLES HAVE BEEN FOUGHT WITH THE FLAPPING OF WINGS OR THE SLAPPING, STICKING AND UN STICKING OF TENTACLES? LOSS OF LIFE MIGHT HAVE BEEN MINIMAL.
SLAPSTICK!
BUT NO. MAN WAS CREATED OR DEVELOPED THROUGH CREATION OR EVOLUTION TO PERFECTION, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF IT’S BRAIN. THE BRAIN WOULD PROVE TO BE DEFECTIVE, OVER AND OVER. THE HAND, WITH THE HELP OF THE BRAIN COULD MAKE AND DO GOOD AND TERRIBLE THINGS. THEY COULD MAKE TOOLS FOR BUILDING USEFUL THINGS AND FOR HUNTING AND SLAUGHTERING ANIMALS FOR FOOD. HANDS MADE LIFE EASIER AND SAFER. HANDS HUNTED AND GATHERED. THEY TOUCHED AND CARESSED. THEY PATTED DOG’S HEADS AND STROKED CAT’S BACKS UNTIL THEIR TAILS KINKED WITH PLEASURE.
THE HAND-BRAIN COMBINATION MADE FIRE. THE HANDS WERE THE FIRST SHOVELS AND RAKES AND POKERS AND GRABBERS BEFORE OTHER THINGS WERE MADE TO TAKE THEIR PLACE. ROCKS WERE FLINTED TO CARVE PIECES OF WOOD OR OTHER ROCKS TO MAKE OTHER TOOLS. FLINTS WERE USED TO MAKE FIRE.
BARBECUE!
AFTER TOOLS, THE HAND RARELY NEEDED TO SLAP OR PUNCH ANYMORE. TOOLS COULD REMOVE MAN FROM HIS BRUTAL NATURE. THE TOOL COULD REDUCE THE GUILT THAT COMES FROM HAND TO HAND COMBAT. TOOLS COULD OFTEN DISTANCE MAN FROM USING PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AGAINST OTHER MEN. THE HATCHET, THE SPEAR, THE CLUB, AND THE BOW AND ARROW COULD KEEP OR EXTEND THE DISTANCE. THE INVENTION OF GUN POWDER AND GUNS STRETCHED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN MEN WANTING TO KILL EACH OTHER. TOOLS BECAME MORE COMPLEX, MORE DEADLY, EASIER TO USE, AND TOTALLY IMPERSONAL. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SEE THE WHITES OF ANYONE’S EYES ANYMORE. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BE CLOSE TO THE ENEMY OR SEE THEM WITH THE NAKED EYE ANYMORE TO KILL THEM.
AMERICAN SNIPER!
ACTUALLY, THE CURRENT RECORD HOLDER FOR THE LONGEST KILL DISTANCE OF ANY SNIPER IN HISTORY IS AN ANONYMOUS SNIPER FROM THE JOINT TASK FORCE 2, A UNIT OF THE CANADIAN FORCES WHO MANAGED A SUCCESSFUL KILL AT A RANGE OF 3,871 YARDS IN MAY 2017 DURING THE IRAQ CIVIL WAR.
POP!
SPLAT!
WHERE ARE THE GREAT CANADIAN SNIPERS WHEN WE NEED THEM MOST?
LOOK OVERHEAD! A DRONE!
THE DEATH TOWERS!
ANYONE SEE THAT VIRUS THAT JUST STAMPEDED THROUGH THE WORLD’S POPULATION?
LOOK MA! NO HANDS!
PERHAPS THE MOST USEFUL TOOL EVER INVENTED WAS THE SHOVEL, IN ALL OF IT’S MANY VARIANTS. SOME MIGHT SAY IT WAS THE HAMMER, OR THE PLOW, OR THE COTTON GIN. WAS IT THE WHEEL, THE WATER PIK OR THE GUN?
THE SHOVEL HAS MANY USES. USED PROPERLY, IT CAN DIG HOLES FOR FENCE POSTS OR FOUNDATIONS AND FOOTINGS FOR BUILDINGS. IT CAN DIG HOLES TO PLANT FOOD OR TREES. IT CAN BE USED TO SCOOP WATER OR POOP. IT CAN BE USED AS A LEVER TO PRY OUT ROCKS OR ROOTS FROM THE SOIL. IT CAN BE USED TO SEPARATE A CHICKEN FROM HITS HEAD.
THE SHOVEL CAN BE USED AS A WEAPON WHEN NO OTHER TOOLS OR WEAPONS ARE AVAILABLE OR NOT WORKING. SPADES AND SHOVELS WERE OFTEN USED IN THE MANY WARS TO DIG TRENCHES, BOMB SHELTERS, BOOBY TRAPS, AND LATRINES. MEN SLAUGHTERED EACH OTHER WITH SHOVELS AND THEN EVENTUALLY BURIED THE DEAD WITH THE SAME SHOVEL.
IN OTHER WARS, WHEN HEAVIER EQUIPMENT WAS BUSY ELSEWHERE, MANY SHOVELS WERE USED BY MANY PEOPLE TO DIG VAST HOLES, USUALLY OF PRECISE DIMENSIONS AND NO DEEPER THAN EIGHT FEET. OTHER PEOPLE WITH SHOVELS SPREAD LAYERS OF LIME INTO THESE PITS. THESE PITS WERE FOR PLANTING EVIDENCE. NOTHING LIVING WOULD EVER EMERGE FROM THIS PLANTING. MOST OFTEN, THE PEOPLE THAT MADE THESE HOLES, MADE THEM UNDER DURESS ONLY TO FIND THEMSELVES TUMBLING INTO THE HOLES AFTER BEING SHOT, CLUBBED WITH A HAMMER, OR BEATEN TO DEATH WITH THE SHOVEL THEY USED TO DIG THEIR HOLES.
IF EVER THE CURRENT ORCHESTRATORS OF THE ‘GREAT RESET GENOCIDE’ ARE BROUGHT TO ACCOUNT FOR THEIR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY, THEIR SENTENCES SHOULD BE ‘DEATH BY SHOVEL’ AFTER THEY HAVE DUG THEIR OWN MASS GRAVES, DEATH BY AS MANY WHACKS IT WOULD TAKE TO PREPARE THEM FOR WHAT IS HOPEFULLY A LONG, PAINFUL JOURNEY TO THE WORST EVERLASTING HELL. EACH RESOUNDING RING OR CLANG WOULD BE MUSIC TO THE NON- COMPLIANT SURVIVORS EARS.
THIS WOULD BE GOOD THERAPY.
RECONCILIATION.
PLANTING THESE TOXIC CREATURES MIGHT BRING BEAUTY TO THE WORLD, BUT, LIKE IRRADIATED SOIL AFTER A NUCLEAR ACCIDENT OR DELIBERATE BOMBING, IT MIGHT TAKE FIFTY TO ONE HUNDRED YEARS TO PRODUCE ANYTHING GOOD.
DIG A HOLE.
CLANG!
FILL IT UP.
REPEAT.
THERAPY!
Can someone recommend Crotchless Thongs and G-Strings? Cheers x
Yes.